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avatar Cylasbreakdown 21 day.ago

How does a hamburger introduce his girlfriend?

"Meat Patty!"

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Looking for a natural mood booster? Science agrees: laughter truly is medicine for the soul! Whether you need a quick pick-me-up, an icebreaker for awkward moments, or just want to spread joy, corny jokes are your secret weapon.

In this curated list, we’ve compiled the best dad-approved one-liners, groan-worthy puns, and cheeky quips guaranteed to deliver belly laughs. Share these crowd-pleasing jokes at work, family dinners, or parties—no prescription needed!

funny dad jokes

funny dad jokes
1. Why was 69 afraid of 70

Because 71.

2. Why didn’t the time traveler take his children with him to the Roman Empire?

The Latin people spoke was so vulgar!

3. Two Australians walk out of a bar

Hey, it could happen!

4. My bank just installed a new Ultimate Extreme ATM.

Now all my withdrawals are in tens.

5. Nothing worse than, after sex, looking down and seeing that limp used condom hanging off your d***...

Particularly when you weren't wearing one when you started.

6. If Cupid is busy is he...

preocCupid?

7. I almost got ripped off buy a British scrap yard!

I brought 200 lb ,$133 of scrap and after he put it on the scale he said it looks like you have 100 pounds here 🙄

8. A man walks into a church confessional and says to the priest, "Bless me, father, for I have sinned I was with seven different women last night."

The priest is silent for a moment, and then says "Go home and cut seven lemons in half. Squeeze the juice into a glass and drink it down in one gulp. "And I'll be forgiven?" asks the man. "No," replies the priest, "but it will wipe that fucking smirk off your face!"

9. Only two years ago, my wife's gynecologist delievered pizza.

Still to this day they both think, it's a terrible name...

10. A tourist visits Israel.

First of all, of course, he wants to visit the holy places. He stops a taxi, sits inside, and realizes he forgot how to say "The Western Wall" in Hebrew. He thinks for a moment: "Driver.. take me to the place... where you Jews are all crying." The driver took him to the Tax Authority HQ.

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